everyone is single if you try hard enough
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
