I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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