4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
