Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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