That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
