i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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