she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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