marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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