You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
