I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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