yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
