1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
