woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
