Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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