i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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