when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
