You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
