okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
