I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
