just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
