were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
