Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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