im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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