woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize