I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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