so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
