I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We named our party play list daddy issues
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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