I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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