if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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