your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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