remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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