I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
