I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm really busy with my period
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