If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
