puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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