she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize