covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
