Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize