Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
