operation harelip BJ is a go
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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