im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
