But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
