Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
