so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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