Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
