He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
