ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
