If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't deserve a penis
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
