I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize