redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I believe in your delicious
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
