I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
