There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize