i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
