its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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