I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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