Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
