I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
