She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
