no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
