Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
