I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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