you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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