bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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