yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
