I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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