so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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