ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just invented taco cereal.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
