did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
